One of the best pitches ever

R.I.P. Philip Seymour Hoffman, you will be sorely missed.

___________________

Text:

“On paper, Van Lew is one of the riskiest sons of bitches alive.
But, people,
we cannot sum up a man’s life with a bunch of numbers on a computer screen.

All right, we all need to look into our hearts and go,
“Do I think this dude is gonna die in a few years or not?”
Is old Leland here gonna fight off a man…
with the last name “Reaper,” first name…
who goes by the last name “Reaper,” first name “Grim”?
Or will this BASE-jumping,
crocodile-wrestling,
shark-diving, volcano-luging,
bear-fighting, snake-wrangling,
motocross-racing bastard die?
And the answer is no, friends,
which is why myself,
Reuben Feffer, Stan…
and all of us here at Indurby and Friends…
are willing to lay our asses on the line…
and proudly recommend that Leland V’an Lew…
receive fifty million dollars in life and health…
and automobile insurance…
for a duration of no less than 20 years.
Hey, what do you think, guys?
Are you that kid from Crocodile Tears?
You’re goddamn right I am.
I thought so. Impressive presentation. He’s insured.
Yeah! Bloody ripper! 
Congratulations.
Love ya, son!”

Read more on actors and presentations.